Domestic Violence

WHAT IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?


CHAPTER 1

“A house where domestic violence happens is not the house of happiness.”


WHAT IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?

- A violence which is committed in the family such as beating, rape, violence between brothers, violence to the old-age relatives, violation by brothers or sisters-in-law, and rape on the female servant.
- Committing violence can cause to have bruise on the body of a person, effect on emotion and feeling, freedom in traveling and the body movement of the victims.
- When violence happens, most women are the victims and men are the perpetrators.

FORMS OF VIOLATIONS

- The fighting between husband and wife and mostly the men are the fighter to their wives or mistresses.
- Emotional and feeling violation. It usually appears when the men blame and use ugly words to the women.
- Violation and rape to the women in the family.
- Rape on children such as father rapes his own daughter, or the men rape the girls in the same house.
- Violation on the old-age relatives like forcing to work heavily, or forcing to do what they don’t.

CAUSES THAT A PERSON VIOLTES TO ANOTHER

We found many causes that a person violates to another and there are many relate cases.
- According to many explanations and descriptions, some people don’t use polite words to solve the problems with husband or wife. Moreover, they are jealous with their intimate partners.
- The perpetrators usually put the mistakes on to another person and try to find other reasons to show that they are not the perpetrators. However, their reasons just the description to protect their cruel actions. All these perpetrators, of course, cannot find the reasons for protection their violence.
- A general description said violence caused by the past event o a person (perpetrator). For instance, the perpetrator used to see the violence in the family when he was young. On the other hand, perhaps they believe that the men were the important ones in the family and they have power in the society.
- Drinking alcohol and using drug abuse can be another cause of violation or violence, but it is not the real cause because we have found that some people beat or commit violence to wives or children when they drink alcohol or use drug abuse, but some of them commit violence without drinking or using drug abuse.
- The other factors can be caused by the members of the family that don’t forgive each other while there is a problem or any argument in the family.


STEPPS OF VIOLENCE

Violence appears in three steps:
The difficult step or appear: this step appears when the both sides are being upset or angry and make the problem to be difficult in the family.
Crisis step or when the violence burst out: it appears when the argument party don’t solve the problem by using peace way.
The step of agreement: this step appears when the victims and the perpetrators forgive each other by promising not cause violence again and try to be peace.

CONSEQUENCES OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
According to the reports from some doctors, we found that the victims of domestic violence have many crises as the following:
- They covered with painful that caused by fear ness and it’s difficult to identify what kind of disease it is.
- It harms nervous part such as deaf, dazzle, and difficult to concentrate to o something. Moreover, they always have headache.
- For women diseases, they often find many diseases with vulva.
- They are tired, have headache, and have stomach ache, dizzy, pain in their chest and their heart beat quickly.
- All these victims have to take medicine to reduce pain very often.
- The victims who came to see the doctors always not clear with their diseases and the doctors still cannot find the real causes of these unusual diseases.

Domestic violence not only injures the victims, but also effects on their emotion and women value. The consequences of domestic violence can also effect on the other people who live near the victims as the following examples:
- Children can continue to commit the violence when they become adults and they may think that violence is an acceptable action. Boys can be a cruel person and can always use violence like their fathers. Girls may think that violence onto women by men is the natural law for general women in the society and eventually they will become the victims like their mothers.
- Relatives and friends can be tired both physical and emotional because they try to solve the problems and advise the related people in the problems or the argument.
- Domestic violence threatens community. For instance, even though domestic violence happens in only one place or one house, it effects to neighbors. They can hear the screaming and bad words or they can be a witness of the problem that they don’t want to be.
- Government spends much money to help the women and children victims. Violence effects the victims’ health and their well-being that they need help from the public services such as hospital, clinic, social affair services, and safety.


CHAPTER 2


WHY CAN’T WOMEN, THE VICTIMS, SOMETIMES LEAVE THE HOUSE AND THE FAMILY?

It’s unlucky for women because when violence happens, they cannot leave the house or the family to live far away from the cruel or violent husband or boy friends. Each of them always hesitates to leave the house or the family because she still loves her husband and in the other case, the man is the children’s father. It’s quite difficult if we want a woman to end her love with her intimate partner even though he always beats her or commit violence on her.

Below are some reasons that a woman cannot leave her house or her family:
- When domestic violence happens slightly.
- When a woman used to be beaten by her parents when she was young.
- When a woman is jobless and has no ability to work for supporting her life.
- When a woman has many children to feed.
According to the above reason, they decide to continue to live in her family.

The victim women talk about many reasons why they still with the violated men. In generally, women are the objectives of the men to commit violence, but most of them can stand with the violence and pain. They cannot leave their house to live far away from cruel or violent men because they have some reasons such as money less, shyness, shame, losing honor, etc.

Money less

Women will be difficult if they leave the house without any money with them. They need money for bus ticket, air ticket, anything that they need to go to somewhere that is safe for them. They need money to buy food, for themselves and their children. In another case, they need money for building or buying a new house to live in.

In short, the main point that a woman cannot leave the family or violated husband is money and on the other hand, she doesn’t have enough ability to work and live by herself.

In this case, it’s fine if they have relatives that can provide them the shelter until the problem is solved. The best way to solve the problem depend on both husband and wife agree to solve the problem peacefully and promise not to commit violence again and continue to live with each other.

Shyness, shame, and losing honor

It’s bad for women’s feeling when they are in despair. Violence can make them shy and it affects their honor. On the other hand, the neighbors or other people who live near them can blame them for the appeared violence. Example, they may say “I have already told you that you must be patient with your husband’s character to avoid argument. Now the problem is worse than before. Do you want to live with him anymore or want to get divorce?”
Because of shyness and honor, the women maybe decide not to leave the house and continue to live with husband.

The consequence of domestic violence is caused by the unequal power between women and men, children and adults, cripples and ordinary people in the same house or family. Domestic violence can effects emotional communication and feeling between the victims and violent men very much.

So it’s not easy to solve the problem because the women cannot pack bag and leave the house. We would like to inform all the violent men that violence on women and children is a crime.

Domestic violence not only the individual’s worry, but also the worry of public because:
- It harms public health and social affaire as we described in the previous page.
- It’s the violation to a person’s life, honor, and security.
- It’s the division of the family members to live separately.

Cambodian has a good tradition. They always educate children to respect and follow parents and family. We believe that every individual loves family very much and try to keep their family into peaceful and honorable because we think that family is heaven when the family members live and communicate with each other without violence.

Home is a safe place to feed children until they grow up. On the other hand, home is also a place where family members get violence from family leader or violent men.

So we see that domestic violence can destroy happiness in the family. Until now, some researchers said that the happening of domestic violence in the countryside because of the poverty of that family and they are busy with their work so that they have some problems in the family. However, in many cities domestic violence still happens though the family is rich. So we conclude that domestic violence happens every where (both city and countryside) because the people don’t understand clearly about the consequence of violence. They live with each other without forgiveness, tolerate, excuse, and pity. So Cambodian men and women should study and understand clearly about women’s right that the law had stated in order to avoid violence on women and children in the family.


CHAPTER 3

RECOMMENDATIONS FOR SOLVING DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

The way for solving domestic violence must make sure that victim women get protection and support them in safety and security. Civil servant the staffs of civil organizations have to know about kinds, action, and consequence of violence. It’s necessary for those people who have to know about declaration and promising of the government’s trying that is made currently as well as law, another plan, and result of the research that is related to domestic violence.

According to constitution of the kingdom of Cambodia, both male and female have equal right that one cannot violate onto the other. Article 31 stated that “using own right or freedom of a person can’t affect on the other.” Relevant to women, the article 45 stated that “discrimination against women must throw away.” To protect children’s right, the article 48 stated that “state (nation) vouches for children’s right that stated in the treaty about children especially right for living, right for education, right for protection during the war and protection against business, economic, and sex on children. State against the works that harms education or damage children’s health.”

Furthermore, we have declarations, treaties, and laws that is declared to use in order to protect women’s and children’s right s the following:
- Universal declaration of the United Nation on human right in 1948.
- International treaty on elimination of all kinds of women discrimination in 1979.
- Law on wedding and family, etc.
We see that most the victims of domestic violence are women and children, the authority haven’t provide them justice yet although they are reported about threaten on women and children. For instance, the court doesn’t punish or judge the perpetrators correctly because of corruption or any bribe. Many people still think that domestic violence is individual in the family. So the happened problem should be solved by their spouse. They think like this because:
- Most women are low in education and don’t know about their own right clearly.
- Most of the men are low in education and they don’t know clearly about women’s and children’s right.
- Not enough announcements about women’s right and the law that protect it.
- No responsibility with what they did on the victims.
- Not so strict in law practicing.
- Lack of aid systems from the government and community.

Because of the above reasons, the ways for helping the victims are not effective. They sometimes decide not to return home because they are afraid of violence that can happen again one day. Because of this, we would like to suggest solving the problem effectively and we suggest having the independent court system which is fair. Furthermore, the court should have enough staff in every brand in order to against all kinds of violence.

HOW TO AVOID DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

We have the following ways:
- We have to make a program for educating people in order to make them know clearly about domestic violence and its sequences, and change their old ideas like someone think that domestic violence is the quarrel in their family.
- We can publish bulletins, show them by film or video, mad should make the day of anti-domestic violence.
- We can provide them the books, magazines, and other tools from national institution or from NGO.



CHAPTER 4

Almost every where in the country, NGOs and social civil organization networks have been protecting children’s and women’s right to reduce domestic violence in the lowest level.

The Khmer Institute of Democracy (KID) is a local NGO and sponsored by Diakonia, a Swedish development aid organization, made counselor network for citizen in some provinces in order to help citizen to write letters, or advise and announce them democracy and human right in the remote areas. There are 103 counselors at KID. Their activities are always effective in solving the problems. They can coordinate the argument party to solve the problems peacefully by following the method of solving argument out of the court system. The counselors of KID can direct people for the helping from other institutions in case the problem is complex and over ability of them. For the technique ability, the counselors get from KID on the law of human right, democracy, and the other related skills.

HOW TO SOLVE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

When there’s a complaint on the happening of domestic violence that injure someone, we have legislative way on the following steps:

FIRST STEP

If the victim women have injury and need treatment, we have take them to hospital or clinic for safety and should find them the temporary shelter and case they agree for temporary shelter, we should choose their friends’ or relative house in on the other hand, we should send them to NGOs or other organizations that take responsibility in this problem to provide them need things or advice.

Honor is very important for every one. So, one who response in this problem should keep secrete for them for their safety. Remember that the victims don’t want to share their sorrow to someone. Thus, we have to solve this problem carefully.
- We must listen to what they described carefully. After listening, we have to respond to what they had said and request them to follow us.
- Please do not use the words which can be threatened words.
- Must show them warm or friendly behaviors to make their feeling easy.
- Mustn’t force them to answer what they don’t want to answer.
- When ask them questions, must avoid the words that make them suffer.

SECOND STEP

When the victims are better and healthy or after advising them, we can ask them if they want to make a complaint. If they don’t want:
- We should give them advice to go to an organization that can help them.
- We should make the related party in the problem promise not to cause the problem happens again.
- We should continue to watch the perpetrators if they don’t keep the promise.
- If the perpetrators still commit violence, we must request the victims to make a complaint to the court in order to avoid the extension of violence.

In case the victims agree to make a complaint:
- We must help them to write the complaint by following their request.
- If the problem is not so serious, we should solve it by the out-of court way in forgiveness each other.
- If the problem is solved by the court, we should watch it in order to find fairness for victims.